Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Ceeeeelebrate Good Times - COME ON!!

Ok, admittedly I probably don't deserve any of this cake after a whole month of not blogging (something of which I am deeply ashamed) but this is to celebrate my 100th post. Yay!!

To celebrate, as well as uploading this cake, I thought I would make a list of all the challenges I have set myself over the past 100 posts regardless of whether or not I've actually achieved them. So here goes:

Ever the visionary, when I set up my blog, I decided to start not one, not two but three (oh yes that's right - three) different blogs. As well as the infamous "Confessions of an Innocent Man" which has been well read and loved by dozens all around the world (a statment which bore a certain degree of truth before Lucy Aitken-Read moved back to England and thus ended my internationally appreciated blog status), the eager and willing blog reader could also find the Glyn Harries anthology (containing all my finest works of sketches, poetry and other such writings) and then the Glyn Harries Book Review blog in which I would read a book and then give my opinions on said book before rating it. As such the blog reader, rather than having to read the book themselves, would simply read my review of the book and then would know what to think (this saves on the ghastly chore of formulating one's own opinion). Whilst both of these secondary blogs have not been updated as much as I had originally intended, it is the book review blog that has been the most resounding failure. With a total of two posts in which I reviewed Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis and Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code (both of which I'd read before setting the blog up and the last post being posted on the 16th April 2006) the idea soon fizzled into cyber oblivion. It would have perhaps worked better had the idea for a book review blog not coincided with the time in my life that I grew bored of reading books. So not the best of starts. Well...as you mean to go on.

2) Glynn Harris
My first challenge. I discovered a man who had taken my whole name and violated it beyond recognition. He worked as a golf instructor and tutored one of my, then, youth members. I set myself the challenge to meet this man and try to convince him that he was spelling it all wrong. Didn't happen. Didn't even come close. Didn't even start in fact. I made absolutely no attempt to get in touch with this man. I'd call it a failed attempt but there was no attempt. So I guess it's just a failed.

3) The Challenge!
Perhaps the finest moment in this blog's illustrious history. I set myself the challenge to have a lie published in a national paper. This I achieved when the nation believed that Condoleeza Rice's first name was aramaic for "love of the unknown" thanks largely to the Metro's letters page. Unfortunately, despite the success of this achievement, this challenge also, ultimately, ended in failure. Not satisfied with a mere mention in the letters page, I promised to keep going with the challenge. The challenge was going to be extended. I was going to have more. More lies. More publicity. More mischieviousnesses. Unfortunately, I realised that I had no tricks up my sleeve other than writing into the Metro letters page and promptly retired. If I'd left it alone, this could have been a brilliant success. But alas, once again my ambition far out-weighed my drive and I am left with another failure. Ho-hum.

At last, success. On the 27th July 2006 I set myself the challenge that by 27th July 2007 I would be driving. Here is me in my Corsa as a symbol of my completion of said challenge:

(Note: For the sake of integrity, I should tell you that I am actually posing for this photo. The car was completely stationary and I was not, at the point that this photo was taken, doing anything that I could not have done one year ago - or indeed 15 years ago. You're just going to have to take my word for it - I can actually drive now).

5) Anday!
About the same time as promising to learn to drive, my friend Andy was spending his working hours commenting on other peoples blogs. These comments were usually abusive and attempted to derive something that resembled humour (Andy is, by my own admission, not funny). The most annoying thing is that old man Andy (if you're wandering how old, think of your own age and then add a few years) refused to set up his own blog so that others may comment on his life and musings. I therefore determined that I would make Sunday "Anday" and post a story about Andy every week so that the masses may know of his meanderings. This too was destined for failure. After two weekly posts in which I revealed a photo of Andy sleeping with his cat and regaled you all with the tale of Andy being caught naked with the cleaner, this feature (like so many before it) fell by the wayside. However, it wasn't a complete loss as Andy now has his very own blog which is really rather good and I would recommend it to anyone who is still reading this post (I'm guessing if you've got this far it's because you should be doing something more important and are looking for other ways to procrastinate - in that case, read Andy's blog).

Ummm, once again, it just didn't happen.

Much like the Glyn Harries Book Reviews blog, the Procrastination Hall of Fame did not take off quite as well as I had hoped. After a single, solitary post the idea just kind of stopped dead. It's a shame because I'm still desperately in love with it. I just wasn't sure where to take it (how do you research and measure other people's procrastination?). Maybe one day I'll be inspired and driven to pick it up again and run with it (although that sounds worryingly like another failed challenge in the making) but in the mean time it just lies there, beautiful, expectant and lifeless.

So there you go. 100 posts and a rich tapestry of unachievements. I'm almost proud to have such a fine legacy of failed challenges and abandoned features. Maybe one day I'll come up with something that sticks.

Sorry it's been so long since I blogged. And sorry I've been so infrequent. August sees a Summer School and a holiday so it's shaping up to be another dry month blog-wise but I have a few new ideas up my sleeve come September (something to keep me regular as it were) so we'll see what happens.

Thanks for reading.


Kirst said...

Glyn that blog almost makes up for your lack of bloggage. Your 100th blog was indeed a great one! At least your 'rich tapestry of unachievements' is entertaining!

But driving - that is a good achievement!

I really hope summer school goes well. I am hoping to come to the final festival, (or whatever we actually call it these days!), so will hopefully catch up with you there.

Andy said...

How good of you to declare me not funny...

And so highly-rated is my blog it STILL doesn't get a link...

plumsauce10 said...

nice blog!!

Lisa has one too now....